Dear Mr. Chappell:

I would like to hear your advice about a concert I gave recently. I was striving to not only play well, but to enjoy playing, and was taken off guard by not being able to enjoy playing. I couldn’t step out of my fear. Fear of playing the wrong notes, and fear of the difficult last piece on the program. I couldn’t center myself. So I didn’t enjoy the concert even though I had tons of appreciative people there.

— Performer

---

Dear Performer:

You have to give up the idea that you are performing for the sake of your own experience. You’re not. You are there to bring to your listeners what you pray will be the awakening of a divine experience.

Every person present, including yourself, will react differently to the performance. Your own crappy feeling may have no relation whatever to someone else’s perception and experience. Trusting in that, you can play as you play. Someone might come up and tell you that you have saved their life that day. It happened to me once.

Fear comes from sensing isolation. Isolation in this case comes from feeling like attention is coming in your direction from everyone. Instead, as above, your attention can be going in their direction. Some days we do get to enjoy playing. But the consensus so far is that it is not possible to predict when that will happen.

You also have to give up the idea that you are in control of what is happening. You’re not. Walking onstage is surrendering the self. Even the wrong notes are supposed to happen that way.

— J.C.